Above And Beyond Promotion

Posts Tagged ‘thing’

The cool thing about gifts is that you can receive them. For all my soapbox condemnations of the corrosive effects (albeit perhaps unintended) that advertising can have upon the community which it unfurls its ravenous hunger without prejudice, I have to say that I am really sort of into promotional advertising gifts. For a couple reasons.

First off, I like getting things without cost much better than I do when I need to give money for them. For example, it was just last year that I bought three boxes of pens. Now, for me, I’m a big fan of pens, in fact my slight OCD makes me feel a little uncomfortable when I don’t have a pen on me. So, it’s important that I have an ample supply at my house. I can’t remember exactly, but I feel like I probably spent around twelve dollars for the three boxs.

I’m not saying that I could take those twelve dollars, throw them on my bed, roll around on them al fresco and make a night of it; but, I am saying that I could appreciate the cash and maybe have a nice little lunch. So, if I didn’t have to spend the money, that’d be optimal. But, then I’m left penless, which is far from optimal. However, these two desires of mine need not be mutually exclusive.

Each and every day there are probably tens of tens of places around town handing out pens as promotional advertising gifts. Some from the doctor, some from the bursar’s office at my university, others from a temporary stand getting people to register for credit cards and I’m starting to sit on a reasonable collection of pens. They’re out there. I just need to go get them. And to do that, I need only strap myself with generous amounts of tenacity and the will to collect.

The other reason that I like promotional advertising gifts is, unusually, almost the exact opposite of the first. It starts out with the belief that everyone should do one good deed (at the very least) each day. One good deed that I see as important is to maintain the cleanliness of our fair city (or whichever one you find yourself in). One way to keep a city free from environmental degradation is to throw away trash. So, one way that I know that I can always satisfy my daily good deed is to make sure garbage gets into a garbage can. Therefore, I also like promotional advertising gifts, because I can take them right out of the hands of the friendly distributor and walk my poster, magnate, paper visor or whatever and put it right into the trash. Everyone wins.

It will be clear to you if you talk to me for just a quick little chit-chat that I have some reservations about advertising in general. But between these two great aspects of promotional advertising gifts, it becomes clear to me that truly every cloud has a silver lining.

I’m not too much of a bourgeoisie kind of a guy, in fact, I probably relate more with the serfs (I know I just mixed socio-economic systems, bear with me). This particular fact about me is the result not only of a static social hierarchy (although social fluidity is touted like its simple matter of signing up for your preferred lot), but also as a little bit of personal taste. For one, I’m not real big on the uniform that seems to permeate the elite. Pastels don’t sit well with me and pleated white and khaki shorts just above the knee make me feel uncomfortable. I’d rather sew up the rip in my jeans, put my feet on the table and curse a little with my friends. There is one thing though?golf.

Wow, getting a group of friends together, totting along a course regulation breaking cooler and swinging some sticks?now we’re talking. The thing about golf is that there isn’t a thing about golf. I like to be outside. I like the tranquility. I like the sound when your driver connects just right with the ball. I like walking up my ball and quietly thinking about my next shot. I like that I could measure out 150 yards for you with a golf ball and my 8 iron. I like that on some days the cup looks really big and on others I fear it. I really like the sound made when the ball finally drops. And I even like that I’m not very good at golf and probably never will be, it’s a big outdoor chessboard. These are the things about golf to me.

Recently, though, the sanctity of my church has been infiltrated by heretics and plunderers. By far the most unnerving area on the course for me is on the tee box. I have a slice, sometimes I miss the ball all together, I can usually feel the group behind me creeping up, it’s just an all around difficult spot for me. So what I’d like is for anything that can be not unnerving to be so. That’s why when I started to see golf advertisements placed on the tee box I felt wholly unhappy.

I’m not sure if the tee box should be designated as an advertising free zone, or not, but I really can swing better with a mind free of the heaviness that bears upon it when confronted with issues such as freedom of speech, product branding and commodity fetishism. So, golf advertisers?you’ve got us. We’re hooked, we like your game, we use your product, we’ll read your magazine, but please, please leave the tee box alone.